German Chocolate Cake
by Sayshello3
Summary: Edgeworth has broken Franziska's whip- and she couldn't be any more pissed. So Phoenix suggests that he bakes a cake. But this prosecutor is NOT kitchen savvy- but with the help of Maya and Pearl, a German Chocolate cake shouldn't be TOO hard...right?
1. Chapter 1

"…Wright, I need your assistance." These words came begrudgingly from none other than Miles Edgeworth. Sighing, he spoke quietly and efficiently into the phone while cutting right to the chase. "I've made Franziska extraordinarily angry with me and…I need to mend the bridge with her as soon as possible or else she'll hold this over my head for all of eternity." Inwardly he groaned at the thought of it.

Nick kicked back in his chair, crossing his legs at the ankles and propped himself onto his desk at his office. "What did you do?"

Miles waved his hand as if to dismiss it, but then realized Phoenix couldn't see it so he replied "It doesn't matter; I just made her very sore with me and let's leave it at that-"

"Well how am I supposed to help you if I don't even know what you did?" Phoenix stared up at the ceiling momentarily before asking "Did you make fun of her about dating Adrian?"

Edgeworth mumbled "**Absolutely not**; she would have killed me if I even tried."

"Did you take any of her clients?"

"No, Wright," Miles replied, resting his forehead onto his palm. Why on earth did he call this man? "We work in the same department so that's not very plausible-"

"Well then what did you do? Get to the point Miles!" Edgeworth could almost see his colleague drumming his fingers on a desk somewhere, his polished shoes draped over that same desk or him leaning back in his chair. And what he was about to tell Phoenix wasn't going to be easy. Edgeworth cleared his throat, inhaled, and exhaled.

"Miles? You there buddy-"

"I snapped her whip in half…" Edgeworth mumbled, grabbing his temples with his thumb and index fingers. "I…I don't really know- please stop laughing Wright," he added in a stern voice. As the volume of his friend's laughter increased, Edgeworth's cheeks became inflamed with embarrassment.

"W-What were you doing with it Miles?" Phoenix snickered. "Playing jump rope? Or did you hack it to pieces or something-"

"This is NOT the time to be making a mockery out of this; it's very serious to me!" Edgeworth yelled, pounding the table. "I called upon you as a friend, hoping you would relate to me some sound advice as in how to apologize to her. Instead you are _laughing_ at me!"

"Miles," Phoenix started in a calmer voice. He relaxed in his chair and started playing with a black ballpoint pen; Edgeworth could hear the ticks on the receiving end. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything- and of course I'll help you!" Little did Phoenix know how his cheery voice made Miles quietly smile.

Miles cleared his throat and tugged on his cravat. "Yes well…thank you, Wright. It's an embarrassing feat, for me, to have broken Franzsika's precious cowhide whip; it nearly cost her a fortune from what I'm told…. should I just buy her a new one?" he added, placing a finger on his chin with thought.

"Yes," Phoenix said firmly, "and girls like sweets; not to be stereotyping or anything, but whenever I pissed Mia off, I usually baked her something sweet or bought her a little cake to tide over the anger." He thought for a moment when Edgeworth didn't respond back immediately, "She does like sweet things…right? I'm thinking someone like her is into more salty things or since she's German, she could go for a keg or two-or maybe you could get –"

Edgeworth just sighed and placed a cheek upon his palm while he rested his weight onto his elbow; Nick was rambling on like usual, so Edgeworth just seemed to let it go on until he was finished with "But you can _taste_ the beer in Beer Bread, so maybe you could get her some cheese-"

"I think I get the point Phoenix," Edgeworth edged in to shut him up. "I shall go and buy a fancy cake from the pâtisserie and a new-"

"I think you should make the cake Miles!" Phoenix said in a cheery voice. "That way, she'll see the sincerity and know that you mean it. She's cold hearted, but I think you can melt the ice if you do that; girls are all for cutesy things like that!"

"Be careful what you say Phoenix," Edgeworth murmured with a chuckle, "placing people into groups is a dangerous thing when one is assuming…. and I don't know how to bake a cake." The line was dead for a moment and Miles thought the defense attorney had hung up the phone. "Hello?"

"What are you doing later tomorrow evening?" Nick randomly asked, grinning into the phone. He had a plan up his sleeve, oh yes he did, to help his buddy out of this mess. Nick knew that while Edgeworth was a private person, Miles cared deeply for those who were close to him; Franziska, for all her whip beatings were worth, was one of the closest and he could only imagine what it would be like to have someone you care for hate you.

Again Miles cleared his throat, a small red flush burning under his skin; it was quite uncommon for him to have company over, and while it was nice having friends, Miles wasn't one to initiate anyone coming over. "W-Why Phoenix?" he asked quietly, straightening himself in his chair, his body becoming more erect and suddenly it was stuffy. "I, ahem, was going to stay home and read some English literature."

"…English literature?" Nick replied, sounding very appropriately appalled. "Why- never mind. That sounds boring in its own right-"

"Hmph, boring to one is exhilarating to another," Edgeworth countered, his feathers a wee bit ruffled. "And I must adjourn this conversation, Phoenix Wright, because I have court in the morning and I need rest-"

"Don't forget to bake the cake yourself Miles!" Phoenix said his final reminder and Miles groaned quite audibly. "It's not that hard- really!"

"I am cooking illiterate Phoenix; I could never read a cookbook to save my life!" Edgeworth announced, "And besides, should I decide to bake her a cake, I wouldn't hardly know what she would like to consume!"

"Don't get so frazzled Miles; just sleep on it and something will come to you," Phoenix concluded, standing up and started to close the blinds to the left of his office desk. He nodded firmly and smiled when he heard that Miles was going "to try," albeit begrudgingly.

If anyone knew Franziska Von Karma, it would have to be her younger brother.

* * *

It was another day for our fearless Prosecutor, but as always, he went to his job and performed with great vigor and strength (even though this current case was being suspended until further notice). Miles had started upon yet another crime case with the whole police department working overtime for this one, and now suddenly, when his whole afternoon seemed free to go and read, Edgeworth was now totally swamped with papers! Here and there, scattered all upon his desk: autopsy reports, case files, personal files of the victims and whom they were related to and such. The phone had been ringing on and off the hook non-stop and it seemed that today would go on forever.

"Good heavens," he grumbled, rubbing his forehead, "how did this all fall upon me?" He sloshed through all the files and opened folders, looking for something very key when his office door busted open. Without glancing up, Edgeworth immediately assumed it was Gumshoe here to bring him something useless. "What do you have for me detective?" he started, glancing up casually…until his eyes widened upon the German woman who, for once, was whip less as she slapped a portfolio upon his oak desk.

"Here," Franziska said curtly with a cold voice, her eyes as icy as winter steel and as quick as an artic wind she spun on her heel before Edgeworth could say anything to her. "Get it done soon Miles Edgeworth or else…" she had then turned back to him and looked at him expectantly and…did her eyes hold something else?

"O-Of…course," he lamely replied, glancing down at the navy blue folder and slowly reached for it. When he looked back up, he blinked and she wasn't standing there any longer; she had already left and he could hear the clicks of her heels as she walked away. He just sighed. Maybe Nick was right.

"I think she's expecting something or whatnot," he told to himself as he began leafing through the folder's important contents. '_And this isn't the first time I had broken anything of hers,_' he told himself, a small huff of laughter falling out of his lips, '_I had broken her riding crop when we were once young ones; even messed with her special broach her father gave her and that was a disaster…_' He stole his hand around a warm mug of English tea and sipped, grateful for the warm liquid.

Miles stood up, taking a quick reprieve from his demanding work, and began to pace his open office. '_But what kind of cake would one of Franzsika's stature like?_' he wondered, grumbling ideas. He thought '_Vanilla? Too sweet…Strawberry? She detets the flavor. How about Carrot cake- that's right,_' Edgeworth stopped, scolding himself, "She's allergic to carrots-"

"Who is Sir?" a loud megaphone wailed into his office, and Edgeworth couldn't help but outwardly cringe. He really, _**really**_ hated loud noises. And Officer Meekins was not one to turn the damn volume knob down on that thing. "Who is allergic of carrots Sir-"

"Officer," Edgeworth growled, setting his mug down forcefully. Really, couldn't the man clearly see the proximity of their bodies wasn't so far he had to use that blasted thing? "How may I help you?" he added, noting there must have been some reason he had to stop by; it wasn't often that Edgeworth got a loud visit from Meekins as such- and thank the gracious Lord not.

"Well Sir, I overheard Sir, that someone was allergic to carrots, Sir! I was passin' by and Sir, your door was open Sir-"

"**OFFICER MEEKINS!**" Edgeworth roared over the yell of the megaphone, "**CEASE USE OF YOUR INSTRUMENT AT ONCE! WE ARE INDOORS AND THAT OBELISK OF A VOICE PROJECTOR IS NOT NEEDED!**" Edgeworth took another sip of his tea as Meekins lowered his megaphone from his mouth and scratched his chin.

"Yes sir," he said quite meekly, "but you were just yellin' sir…"

"I had to get my point across somehow, Officer," Miles added, "and why were you so near my door that you overhead me?" he added, crossing his arms and tapping a finger in the crook of his elbow. "Eavesdropping is a nasty habit, one which you should know…" He uncrossed his arms and pointed directly at him. "Speak!"

"Well I!" Meekins started, jumping at the harsh command, "I just wanted to say…were you talking about Miss Von Karma?" he asked, sweating bullets. When he saw that Edgeworth wasn't going to do him any harm and nodded, his grey eyes narrowing in his assessment, Meekins went on. "Well…not to be sterotypin' but sir, she's _German_. And boy howdy do they like their chocolate sir!" he added with a smile.

"Meekins that hardly constitutes…." Miles started, but suddenly stopped and stared wide eyes at foolish officer.

"Chocolate…" Edgeworth mumbled to himself. No sooner did that happen then did a wide grin break off into his face as he began to move swiftly around the office, tidying it up. He quickly placed papers, a bit haphazardly, into his desk drawers and started moving things back into place so nothing looked out of the ordinary, forgetting Officer Meekins was even present. "Why didn't I think of that in the first place?"

"Think of what Sir?" Meekins asked, outstretching his neck. Really, he looked like an ostrich, but Miles himself wasn't going to point that out. Instead, he walked towards him and patted him on the back.

"Nothing Meekins, and everything," he said "Thank you for your suggestion. Now leave," he added, quickly shoving Meekins out of his office.

"But Sir!" Meekins started and ended as a large wooden door closed precariously close to his nose. He blinked a couple of times and just stared, wondering what he said to emit a huge grin on his boss's stoic face. It wasn't like Mr. Edgeworth to smile like that.

"Another job well done!" he hollered into his megaphone and strolled off, leaving the people who were passing by to temporarily cover their ringing ears. And as he walked one way, Phoenix along with two bundles of joy walked past, simply watching with wary eyes as the short thin man screamed more kind and polite things into his megaphone.

"Maybe he should take his name into consideration," Nick said aloud, emitting a gasp from Maya.

"Nick that was so rude!" she said, "He's a nice guy."

"I know but seriously! He doesn't need to scream into that thing…" Glancing back up, he noticed that Edgeworth's door was closed, so he simply strode in with both girls in tow and opened the door. He glanced around, always amazed at how pristine and neat the room was. It glowed with warmth and sunshine; the polished oak floor, the fancy chess set, matching mahogany furniture- basically the works of a rich and successful prosecuting attorney. When Edgeworth looked up from his computer screen, he gave a bored glance at the little party of guests while they smiled back at him. "Hey Miles!"

"Hi Mr. Edgeworth!" Both Maya and Pearl chimed in, running towards him. Miles himself simply sighed and shook his head; he himself wasn't too used to children running amuck in his office, but wasn't one to discourage such sincere smiles.

"What'cha doin' Mr. Edgeworth?" Maya asked, leaning around him to stare at the screen. Her eyes widened, her lips pursed as she cooed "Oooh! That looks yummy! A German Chocolate Cake…"

"Why can't you just make a normal chocolate cake?" Pearl asked, her big brown eyes looking up at the older man. "Is that what we're going to be making?"

"_We_?" he asked, raising a brow and turning the question more towards Phoenix. "Phoenix, what is this all about? You know I have plans tonight-"

"Oh yeah. Reading English literature. It'll only be for like…" He looked down at his watch and it was around 1:16. "It'll only be for about seven hours!"

"**What will?**" Edgeworth asked with a hard edge on his tone. He looked down at Pearl when she tugged on his sleeve. "Yes?"

"Mr. Edgeworth," she asked, a frown falling on her pretty small lips, "you don't like us, do you Mr. Edgeworth? I promise I'll be real good and you won't have to yell at me like Nick does with Mystic Maya-"

"Nick doesn't yell at me!" Maya hollered back over Mile's ears. She turned immediately towards Edgeworth as she said "And _of course_ Mr. Edgeworth likes us! That's why Nick said we can help him make a cake-"

"Maya!" Phoenix yelled, but not too harshly. "That was supposed to be a surprise!"

"Absolutely not Phoenix," Edgeworth inserted. "Not only will they not help me create a cake for Franziska, I refuse to watch your children as if I am some sort of daycare service!" He was standing up fully now, both hands planted down on his desk and glaring daggers at his friend. "No means no Nick." Phoenix just chuckled and slipped his hands into his pockets.

"C'mon Miles," he started, hoping his 'reasoning' sounded logical to him, "these girls live and work in a village- albeit backwater it may be-"

"It is **NOT** backwater Nick!" Maya angrily countered before returning her attention back to the computer. The hair on Edgeworth's neck stood up as they began pressing grimy, children fingers on his keyboard and clicking with the mouse and touching the monitor and leaving _fingerprints_. Egad!

"Uh huh, sure Maya," Nick said before turning back to Miles. "Anyways, these two can cook really well; that's why I brought them over. And," he added, his eyes lowering into a playful glare. "You owe me anyways…" He knew he had won when Edgeworth closed his eyes and sighed. "Well then…"

"Damn you Nick," Edgeworth muttered. Nick just patted him on the shoulder, and said bye to both his little partners.

"Later guys; be good Maya and Pearl and I'll be by to pick you up at 8:30!" With that, Phoenix Wright had practically jogged out of Mile's office and zoomed down the stares, leaving Miles with two children as they ran around the room.

"Oooh chess!" Maya started, her big black eyes sparkling with mirth and joy. She turned to her cousin and yelled, "I'm the black pieces!"

"Okay- I'll be the white ones!" Pearl countered as she crawled onto her chair as Maya did likewise. Miles groaned and went back to his computer before he heard crystal breaking; his chess set was made of fine crystal. As quickly as the action happened, he turned around and wished he hadn't. Three pieces lay broken and shattered on the floor while Pearl and Maya looked at him with big wary eyes. "Oops. We're really sorry Mr. Edgeworth sir-"

…but to no avail, Miles was pissed.

"Get. Away. From. My…chess set _**NOW**_." It was amazing he could restrain himself for these two, not to yell at them. Both girls scrambled down quickly and sat down on the couch. His eyes narrowed into angry slits as he replied, "Sit on that couch, do not touch anything and be quiet. I am working…" He trudged on over and sat down on his plush chair and began pulling out some folders. Soon silence ensued the office and he was filling out some forms when…

"Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl asked politely, raising her hand as if she was in the schoolroom. Glancing out of the corner of his eye as he still wrote he nodded for her to go on. "Are we going to do anything?"

"He's working Pearl!" Maya added, giving Miles a big grin before turning back to Pearl and shushing her.

"Sorry Mystic Maya," Pearl mumbled. She crossed her small legs underneath her purple dress and placed her hands into her lap. Maya just patted her back and gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay Pearls," Maya said. "We just need to be silent for a moment so Mr. Edgeworth can concentrate and do well. It's like training right? To be stronger." Pearl nodded, a smile shaping onto her little lips.

"Oh okay!" She turned to Miles and whispered behind cupped hands "You can do it Mr. Edgeworth sir!" Miles smiled; Phoenix was lucky he got to work with such adorable children. Pearl was a sweetheart and Maya…well, bless her big heart.

"Thank you uh…" he stopped for a moment, trying to remember that little nickname Phoenix always called her. "Thank you Pearls." He softly smiled as she grinned and then sat quiet and ramrod straight into her chair. But even a child of Pearl's and Maya's caliber, after 30 minutes of sitting…. one would start to fidget. Miles continued to work some more, finishing up this and that, tying a few loose ends before he started on another section when out of the corner of his eye he saw the distress in the children's eyes. He suddenly stopped his work, rolled his sleeves up and removed his reading glasses from his face. "Is there something wrong ladies?"

"Uh…Mr. Edgeworth," Pearl started before Maya stood up and her cheeks puffed a little bit before the lioness roared.

"Mr. Edgeworth we've been sitting here for over an hour and haven't done anything! Aren't you done yet?" Her fists were clenched as she narrowed her gaze onto him. "I'm not trying to be rude, but how are we gonna make your cake if we're just sitting around here-"

"Maya," Miles started firmly, impressed that she didn't even back down from the tone of his voice, "you are not helping me bake anything. I am working right now; trivial matters such as a cake are not important right now as my job; I am busy, and I shall get to my cake when it's time." He also held up his hand to stay her counter. "And the cake is my own business-"

"But that's why Nick dropped us off Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya said, defiantly getting her say in. "Because he said you were a lost cause in the kitchen, and back at Kurain we're really great cooks!" She looked down at Pearl and smiled. "Isn't that right Pearly?"

Pearl nodded and stood up next to her cousin. "Mr. Edgeworth, I really enjoy making sweets-"

"And I can stuff a turkey!" Maya yelled enthusiastically. "Please oh please oh _**please **_Mr. Edgeworth! Nick entrusted you with-" was all Maya got out before Edgeworth sent her a hard stare and growled at her.

"Maya…" Edgeworth sighed in defeat. He knew he had lost when she started this rather pointless argument. Running a hand through his silver hair, he shook his head, without a word, sat down, motioning to the girls over to his computer. Both nodded and complied quietly, the light taps of their wooden sandals meeting with the hardwood floor in his office. He finished up typing, saved his document it and closed it all in one turn before opening an internet page that he had minimized earlier and turned both to his left and right to look at both Maya and Pearl.

"Have you two seen most of these ingredients, heard of most of these words and know how to begin the procedures?" he asked, sounding albeit tired. Both girls took a gander at the screen, scanning the contents; Pearl backed up first and shot questioning eyes towards Miles.

"What's an egg white Sir?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

More rudely, from Maya, "Yeah, who even sifts the flour? Pffft! We've totally got this Mr. Edgeworth- can I call you Miles?" she added, batting her cute eyelashes at him. Miles himself was a bit baffled.

"N-No you may not call me Miles, Maya."

"Aww…"

"And egg whites are the clear fluids that are in eggs. Basically everything else but the yolk and the eggshell Pearl," he added. Her lips formed a silent O as she digested in the information. Edgeworth himself sighed.

_Well…why not? Why not give teamwork a try?_


	2. Chapter 2

Edgeworth realized why he was thankful that he, unlike Wright, did not have to practically haul a daycare with him wherever he went. And while Maya and Pearl were sweet children to visit with for about…five minutes, after that, one might want their head to suddenly combust -mostly because of Maya. Where Pearl herself was sweet and very respectful, Maya was rash to a fault, said whatever was on her mind and was, in his opinion, quite loud as she asked for ludicrous demands while he was driving.

"Mr. Miles Edgeworth I'm staaaarving!" Maya wailed in the front seat, moving her head around like a broken marionette to add the effect. "Can we _**PLEEAASE**_ stop to get something to eeeaat?" She moaned as if in pain and then slumped in her chair, her body sliding precariously close from under the safety of her seat belt. Miles just concentrated on the road after he checked she was physically okay.

"Maya please sit up in your chair," he started, flicking the radio station to something else. "And for someone of your age, you need to address me with respect; I do have a title you know-"

"But I even said Mr…" she murmured. Quite suddenly, she perked up. "Hey! There's a burger joint right off the next exit-"

"**No**." It was assertive, but not condescending; Miles was serious. No one was going to eat in his car. He ignored Maya as she mumbled something most unpleasant under her breath while he kept his eyes on the road, almost passing the exit sign when out of the review mirror, he saw a painful expression on Pearl's face. "Is everything alright Pearl?"

From the concern in his voice, Maya turned around. "Pearly?" Pearl was biting her lip, her legs extremely tightly held together…which could only mean one thing. "Mr. Miles we HAVE to pull over!" she screamed, pointing at her cousin.

"What- why?" he asked, glancing back again. He too realized the signs even before Pearl's soft voice squeaked out, barely audible from the stress of her bladder.

"Mr. E-Edgeworth Sir…I-I n-need to use t-the restroom…"

* * *

Miles was not a happy camper. Not only did he have to stop off at that said burger joint he was going to pass, Maya was eating in his car. A big, juicy, greasy burger with dripping condiments and fries smothered in ketchup while Pearl sipped on a vanilla milkshake. Sure, Miles understood Pearl's needs; she was nine years old, and what nine year old wouldn't have to use the restroom? He himself used it while they were there, and while coming out he found that his companions (if one could call them such) were ready to go with a full meal in hand.

And since Maya refused to eat in the establishment, lest waste anymore time that should have been used on his chocolate cake, Miles was driving somewhat in a hunch, hopefully to keep the simmering annoyance at bay while Maya chewed contentedly with her burger, and sometimes talked with her mouth full. He had already reprimanded her twice but of course…she didn't listen.

Oh well. At least he had one small victory, and that was control over the radio. And now, on 84.9 Classical, they were playing one of his favorite pieces: "Estudios de concierto" by composer Manuel Ponce. It was a Mexican piano piece, one that went quite rapid and suddenly would soothe into a pianoforte at times, which would again crescendo into a loud fortissimo-

"What _**is **_this?" Maya hollered, her black eyebrows scrunched in confusion. She pointed a slim finger at the radio and scrutinized Mile's taste in music some more. "Why on earth are we on the Classical music channel? We should be listening to some pop music!" And as soon as that sentence was out of her mouth, she shot her hand out and turned the dial so the radio landed on a pop music station.

"Mystic Maya," Pearl started, her eyes looking large and wary, "shouldn't you have asked to change the radio station before just doing it? Mr. Edgeworth might get angry…" Pearl glanced back over at Miles; he had an array of options in front of him: scold Maya for even touching his radio, reprimand her for such rude manners, or do nothing?

Miles sighed. "It's alright Pearl. While Maya should have asked to change the radio, I'm not all that mad…" He nodded towards her, and then to Maya leveled a look in her direction while changing the station back. Edgeworth took some pleasure doing so because her face changed into outrage as she began to protest. "Maya, my dear child-"

"I am NOT a child!" she countered.

"Yes well, the way you behave certainly says otherwise," Miles replied. "You need to act more mature for your age. And I'm sure that you yourself know there are certain ways to act and certain responsibilities you are to assume at a young age. I know; I understand the confusion of growing up in a world so large and different…" And while Edgeworth prattled on, Maya just sat there, her eyes glassed over with boredom, her eyelashes meeting every few seconds to blink. Even Pearls started playing with the hem of her outfit, wondering why Mystic Maya was getting another lecture. "….and so the ways in which a young woman is supposed to act are set out in a couple few guidelines-"

"Uh- Mr. Edgeworth," Maya started, tugging on his sleeve. Miles gave her a look while arching an elegant eyebrow.

"Miss Maya," he also began before she pointed out the front window.

"Mr. Edgeworth…you just zoomed right past our exit!"

Miles sighed. Some days were easier than the others. Today was obviously one of those days where it wasn't…

* * *

"Mystic Maya? May I push the shopping cart please?" Pearl asked, looking up at her mentor with large brown eyes. Maya's grin widened as she quickly pulled one out from the curricle and began strolling it towards her cousin.

"Of course you can!" she hollered back, cheerily moving towards Pearl while Edgeworth just watched. A faint smile began to rise on his lips as he stood by and watched the two interact with each other. Originally he only needed to use an arm basket to collect the many staples required for Franziska's cake- but seeing how elated Maya and Pearl were just to be in the store, he opted for using a cart instead. And as he bent down to return said basket, he quickly snapped back to immediate attention as he heard Maya call out "And I'll take this one- we can race each other Pearls! Put your feet up like this!"

Why Miles stood and watched on with horror as Maya instructed Pearl in cart racing, he wouldn't ever find an answer, but he knew this had to stop before chaos could happen.

"Like this?" Pearl asked.

"No, no and NO!" Miles snapped, snatching Maya's cart from her grasp. "We are NOT going to race carts like Romans in a coliseum!"

"Aw, why not Mr. Edgeworth?" Maya whined, stomping her foot for "added" emphasis. Pearls only cocked her head to the side as a new banter was to take place between these two again. "It's not like I was going to _**hit**_ anyone or something-"

"Maya," Miles stated, pushing the cart back into the curricle from whence it came, "you are a grown woman of 19 years. Please start acting your age. And may I remind you that I decided to take both you and Pearls on as a favor from a friend- **NOT**, and let me repeat myself- **NOT** for fun or amusement. I have important business to attend to. And with all of this lollygagging and me having to come up and reprimand you all the time is not going to get the day moving!" Edgeworth had not doubt in his mind that his face was a little pink from being so spent; it was a wonder that Nick had neither wrinkles nor crow's feet upon his visage.

Taking care of these two was a nightmare!

Maya pouted and crossed her arms, for once having nothing to say. Edgeworth raised his brow, expecting a comeback or some sort of verbal refute. Shaking his head after a moment's pause, he leaned back down to Pearls and directed her towards the cart. "Go on ahead and start pushing Pearl."

Pearl looked up and smiled softly at Miles. "Okay sir."

"Tell me if it starts to get too heavy Pearls and I can push-"

"Pfft, as if you could push anything," Maya muttered to herself, treading forward with her arms still crossed. Miles turned and eyed her.

"Come again?"

"Oh nothing!" she replied, offering him a poisonously sweet smile. Breaking from her grumpy mood, Maya sauntered forward, taking a look at all of the wares in the supermarket. "This place is huge! We don't have anything like this in Kurain Village huh Pearls?" Maya added, her eyes growing wide. Besides the brightness of the fluorescent lights, Miles himself was impressed at this supermarket. Spread out in many different aisles were different staples ranging from cupboard ingredients to the freezer section where fish and other meats sat. There was even a bakery center where the scent of fresh cupcakes filled the air. Fresh bread was being wrapped up for a customer, Edgeworth saw, as she paid for her purchase. Other patrons were browsing the glass cases of doughnuts, baguettes and other delicious commodities. Cookies were marked down half price and flour was at a seventy percent discount for today only.

"Looks like we came on a good day huh Mr. Edgeworth?" Maya replied, quickly glancing behind her and winked. Miles nodded, continuing to scan his surroundings. And while he was focusing on the environment, Maya piled in three bags of flour, two cartons of both baking soda and baking powder, a brand new flour sifter, and some toothpicks. "What's next Pearly?" Maya called from behind her, past transgressions already out of her mind. Now, she was concentrated on getting ingredients.

"Um…eggs!"

Leading the way over the linoleum covered aisles, Maya progressed forward, turning her head this way and that. "I don't see any Mr. Edgeworth!" she called behind her, looking genuinely concerned. Miles just chuckled.

"Look up at the signs Maya," he supplied, sticking his hands in his pockets while strolling along. "Eggs belong in the dairy aisle…so that should be-" Maya had already arrived in said aisle and began going towards the egg section.

"Oooh! Look at all these cookies Pearly!" Maya called, ushering Pearl over. "I love chocolate chip! What about you; which is your favorite?"

"Sugar cookies!"

Edgeworth chuckled again and shook his head, silver strands swishing back and forth. He continued to peruse all of the egg selections, trying to decide whether organic eggs or barn laid eggs were better for his cake. "But they might have germs," he mumbled, setting the barn laid eggs back down _gently_. "Or how about free-range? Definitely not vegetarian eggs; that just doesn't make sense in itself…"

"Get the white eggs Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya (yet again) hollered, gaining stares from other shoppers. Miles only put a finger upon his closed lips, making a "shhh-ing" gesture.

"There's some milk Mystic Maya," Pearl said, looking up at Maya. Her older cousin grinned, patting her on the head.

"Good job! We'll go get the milk while Grandpa over there-" she jutted her thumb back at Edgeworth, emitting a giggle from Pearl, "chooses between eggs." Both girls walked off towards the second half of the same aisle where all the milks and yogurts were stored. "I think we need butter as well…"

* * *

Miles Edgeworth was in a pickle. For a man of great brilliance, mundane chores such as grocery shopping were great feats for him.

"The omega-3 eggs are important for a healthy diet," he continued to no one in particular. He picked up another batch: vitamin enhanced. "And these are vitamin enhanced…" He furrowed his brow in thought, trying to distinguish which would be the better option when an elderly woman rolled her creaky cart towards Edgeworth. He took a sidestep, moving over as she began clucking over eggs like a mother hen.

Maybe this woman could be a great adversary in this dire predicament. And speaking of adversaries- where were Maya and Pearls?

"Ah…Excuse me Miss," he started, tapping the elder woman on her shoulder. When she looked up at him from, Miles severely wished he hadn't touched her. For Windy Oldbag was an eccentric old crow who could NEVER keep her mouth closed. That said mouth froze for a moment in a perfect "o" as she touched her cheek. Her sudden change in features never-the-less surprised Miles as she threw her hands up and cooed at him.

"Oh my dear Edgy-poo!"

Windy quickly ensnared him into a vice like hug, rubbing her face all up on his chest and everywhere. She smelled faintly of lavender and prune juice. "My, my, _my_ it has been an **AGE** Edgy-poo! How have you been my darling?" Edgeworth's cheeks flamed into a tinted pink as shoppers moved around them with a couple of "Awws" and chuckles.

"How adorable…"

"That must be his mother…"

"What a handsome couple!"

**That** had to stop _**immediately**_.

"Windy…as much of a _pleasure_ it is to see you," Edgeworth began, extracting himself from her grasp. He visibly cringed as she snatched up his hand within her wrinkly ones. Her vicarious blue eye shadow stuck out like a sore thumb on her pale skin; her magenta lips didn't help her face either as she puckered up into a pout. She began stroking the top of his hand. Again, he removed himself from her touch.

"I am…ahem, conducting a very serious and important case. It would be most helpful should you step away from my person. I don't want to attract any unnecessary noise that might scare off the person I'm following…"

Immediately, Windy's spine stiffened. Her chest jutted out while she placed on her best (and well practiced) bulldog face while roaring "IS SOMEONE AFTER YOU EDGEWORTH? WHO ARE THEY?"

"N-No, no, please- no one is **after** me!" he countered back. "But I am just keeping er…a low profile! Yes, and I have worked so hard to stay hidden."

_From you indeed I have…_

Windy's ire wound down as soon as it rose, for she relaxed and tried to voice out a girlish giggle- which actually came out like a bark. "Oh goodness Edgey-poo! You had me soo worried there for a moment!" With cat like speed, she slinked an arm up through Edgeworth's while tapping the top of the egg cartons that he held. "What are these eggs for darling?" she asked, batting her mascara laden eyelashes. Edgeworth just sighed.

"I am grocery shopping Mrs. Oldbag-"

"CALL ME WINDY!" she playfully cheered, slapping him on the back. From such strength, it was a marvel he didn't fall face first into the eggs. "And you DEFINITELY want the omega-3 enhanced eggs! They taste so much better and are far more handsome…wouldn't you agree?" she added, rubbing up next to him.

Edgeworth almost wanted to laugh through all the absurdity of this. Oh how he really, _really_ wished he could have just gone home and read his English literature. The last person he would have ever wanted to meet right now was flirting with him via egg varieties.

"Mr. Edgeworth! We got the milk already!" a familiar voice called, sounding distant. It seemed like life slowed down to a snail's pace as the 'clip-clop' noise of running wooden sandals came towards him. What happened next was entirely not Mile's fault; Maya wasn't watching where she was running, and Mrs. Windy Oldbag was prattling on about something inane or whatnot. He merely closed his eyes, wishing the elderly woman would just vanish but something else happened all together as Maya crashed into his back. Edgeworth's grip on both egg cartons was quite lax; he watched in silence as the eggs flew out of his hands and splat right into Windy's face.

"YOU NEFARIOUS LITTLE PIECE OF-" Windy began. Edgeworth immediately held up his hand to stall her threat.

"Now I don't believe insults are needed Mrs. Windy," he started, trying to placate the situation. Swirling around, he shot Maya a death glare. "I believe someone owes someone an apology _**right now**_," he added, the last part said through gritted teeth. Maya demurely placed the milk into the shopping cart and came forward, her head bent down and her eyes towards the floor. She began wringing her hands while she apologized.

"I'm awful sorry Windbag. I-I didn't mean for Mr. Edgeworth to throw eggs on you…"

"Maya! That is not what I meant! Now apologize!" Miles countered back, looking down his nose at her.

"I'm sorry for running into you Mr. Edgeworth and I'm awful sorry for the eggs falling onto your face…" the apology was almost complete until Maya looked up and gasped. Mrs. Oldbag's makeup was running down her face and egg yolk had been strung in her hair and was dripping off her chin. Maya's serious face had cracked and a smile slipped through; she even giggled for "good" measure.

Maya turned away and quietly snickered to herself. Even Miles himself gave a polite cough to hide his laughter and Pearls looked straight ahead.

"Oooh! You little brat! Why are you with **my** Edgy-poo in the first place?" Windy retorted, stomping her foot. Her purse almost had nipped Maya's nose off, so she chose to stand over by Edgeworth. "He shouldn't have to drag around snot nosed brats anywhere-AND you _**RUINED**_MYOUTFIT! You havesomenerve Missy, for giggling over there! I oughtatellthisincident to your parents andlet's seewhat_THEY_ have to say-" Miles rolled his eyes and groaned; it took a lot for something to bother him, but Windy had taken first place.

"Here you are…Windy." He slid in front of Maya, surprising everyone with a calm and very suave voice; he reached into his suit pocket and whipped out a fine silk handkerchief and began dabbing her nose. "I apologize for all that has befallen you Miss. It is a shame- I can't believe this has happened…"

"Oh my…Edgey-poo!" Mrs. Oldbag started, flustered by all of this attention. Maya looked as if she was about to gag while Pearls just watched on with confusion. She came over towards Maya, who stood by their cart and tugged on the hem of her sleeve.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking up at Maya. Maya didn't respond, as she was watching Mile's eyes point to somewhere _way_ far over there. Maya started pushing the cart away while moving herself and Pearl away from the situation. "Where are we going?"

"We'll wait up front Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya replied, winking over at him. Miles nodded- thank goodness Maya was a smart child (if only sometimes).

"Of course," he murmured, turning his full attention back to his situation at hand. "Again, I don't know how I could ever make up this incident to you Miss Oldbag. If there is anything that I can do, please tell me…" He smiled lightly at her and it seemed as if she swooned.

"Goodness Edgy-poo! You sure are sweet on me! I'll just clean myself up with your handkerchief- would that be alright hm?"

"Of course!" he added with extra emphasis. "Keep it- as a memento. I will go and retrieve for you some assistance- don't go anywhere…" Windy Oldbag was too flustered and happy as she joyfully wiped off egg yolk from her face. She didn't notice Miles snatch up a case of standard white eggshell eggs and quickly slink off in the other direction.

"Oh Edgeworth darling-" she began, completely unaware she was alone in the dairy aisle, covered in egg, by herself. She glanced around- where was he? "Edgy-poo? Oh Eeeedgy-poo….?" An announcement over the intercom came on that made her blood boil:

_Clean up on Aisle Eight. Clean up on Aisle Eight please._

"GOSH DARN IT EDGEWORTH!" She yelled out loud for everyone to hear, throwing down his handkerchief and stomping on it for all it was worth. "I just CANNOT believe he left ME here! THAT HANDSOME GOODFORNOTHING JERK! WHERE DID HE GOANDWHERE IS HE?"


End file.
